Welcome to the course
Parenting
Parenting is the most important job you will ever have — and the one you received the least training for. This course fixes that.
Seven modules built on decades of research, therapeutic experience, and practical wisdom. Each one targets a real challenge, delivers a real strategy, and comes with a tool you can use immediately. No fluff. No theory. Just results.
HOW TO TAKE THIS COURSE: PROPER PARENTING MATTERS FOR PARENTS WORKING TOGETHER This course was designed for both of you. Every module presents a parenting challenge, delivers a research-backed strategy, and comes with a tool you can use immediately. Approach each module as an invitation to grow together — not as criticism of how you have parented in the past. Your willingness to learn and practice these frameworks together will transform your home and strengthen your marriage. FOR PARENTS WORKING ALONE If you are working through this alone, each module still applies. You cannot control how your spouse parents — but you can change what you bring to the home. One parent applying these frameworks consistently will shift the dynamic of the entire family. Start with modules that address your most pressing challenges. Then work through the others to build your complete parenting philosophy. SEVEN STEPS TO GET THE MOST FROM THIS COURSE 1. Watch the video. Each module begins with teaching that demonstrates the concept in action. Watch the entire video first — it sets the context and prepares you for the written content and tool. 2. Read the complete module. The written content expands and deepens the video teaching. The Biological & Psychological section shows you the science. The Theological section grounds the strategy in Scripture. Understanding why the strategy works transforms how you apply it. 3. Complete the tool with your spouse. Each module includes a 3-page tool — a practical worksheet designed to move from awareness to action. Print two copies. Complete the tool together, answering questions honestly before discussing your answers. 4. Discuss your answers together. Schedule dedicated time to talk through what you learned and discovered. Listen to understand your spouse's perspective. Ask clarifying questions. Show genuine interest in how each of you thinks about parenting. 5. Identify your first action. Do not finish the tool without naming one specific action you will take in the next seven days. Not a goal. Not a hope. A specific, measurable action you will practice consistently. 6. Follow the sequence. The seven modules are ordered intentionally — Foundation, Know Your Child, Discipline, Emotional Intelligence, United Front, Screens, and Legacy. Work through them in order. Each module builds on the previous one. 7. Do not rush. Work through one module per week. Spend time with each tool. Practice the strategies in real moments with your children. Couples who complete one module per week finish in seven weeks having transformed their parenting approach and strengthened their marriage. RETURN TO THE TOOLS The parenting strategies learned here are meant to outlast the curriculum. Return to the tools. Review the frameworks. Practice them consistently. When a parenting challenge arises, return to the module that addresses it. Date your tools. Hold each other accountable to the commitments you made. These seven frameworks are the foundation of a home that thrives through every season of your children's lives. YOUR TRANSFORMATION BEGINS NOW Parenting is the most important job you will ever have — and the one you received the least training for. This course fixes that. Seven modules built on decades of research, therapeutic experience, and practical wisdom. Each one targets a real challenge, delivers a real strategy, and comes with a tool you can use immediately. You are not alone. Thousands of parents have used these frameworks to move from chaotic, reactive parenting to intentional, purposeful leading of their homes. Start today. Your children are worth the effort. For ongoing support and additional resources. Visit MrMarriage.com
HOW TO TAKE THIS COURSE (PDF) Short Printable Format PROPER PARENTING MATTERS
Expectation
A leading cause of divorce
Everybody enters marriage with expectations. These expectations are hidden rules that form our reality of how a marriage should function. These expectations are usually unconscious (hidden) rules that we expect our partner to comply with.
Expectation
A leading cause of divorce
Everybody enters marriage with expectations. These expectations are hidden rules that form our reality of how a marriage should function. These expectations are usually unconscious (hidden) rules that we expect our partner to comply with.
Meet the author
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Lloyd Allen is a Marriage educator, Therapist and Coach. He is also a Theologian, Author, and Speaker, and the Founder and CEO of Fixing Marriages Academy, Inc. Trained as a Marriage and Family Therapist at Barry University, with honors, Lloyd brings 30 years of experience helping couples around the world repair, restore, and rebuild their marriages. Happily married and the father of two, Lloyd's greatest passion is helping you build a happy, loving marriage that lasts.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
DO THIS FIRST:
PRE-COURSE ASSESSMENT.
PRE-COURSE ASSESSMENT.
This helps you to measure your progress
The Pre-Assessment establishes your starting point. Before the course changes you, it captures where you are right now — honestly. That baseline makes your growth visible, measurable, and undeniable when you complete the post-assessment at the end.
MODULE 1 — Building the Foundation — Parenting by Design, Not by Default
MODULE 1: BUILDING THE FOUNDATION Parenting by Design, Not by Default THE FOUNDATION Most parents react to their children rather than lead them. They discipline when things go wrong, connect during crises, and parent by instinct instead of intention. The result is chaos, confusion, and exhaustion. This module establishes what parenting is actually for — and gives you a framework to lead your home on purpose. It begins with one belief: what you believe about parenting governs how you practice it. Until a couple settles the question of purpose, values, and approach, every tactic will eventually fail. KEY CONCEPTS ▸ Parenting has a goal — you are shaping a human being who will one day leave your home and impact the world. Know what you are building toward. ▸ Default parenting produces default children — without intentional philosophy, you will parent the way you were parented. Design your approach before crisis forces one on you. ▸ Your home is a culture — every family has a set of values, rhythms, and expectations. You either create it deliberately or it forms by accident. ▸ Agreement between parents is foundational — children do not need perfect parents; they need aligned ones. When parents are unified, children feel safe. When divided, children become manipulative. ▸ Premarital application — couples must discuss parenting philosophy before children arrive. These conversations are far easier to resolve before a child is in the room demanding an answer. BIOLOGICAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL Dr. Diana Baumrind's research confirms children thrive under authoritative parenting — high warmth and high structure. The developing brain is wired to seek safety through predictability. A home built on consistent values and unified leadership literally reduces cortisol levels and supports healthy neurological development. Children whose parents present a unified front show significantly lower anxiety and stronger behavioral regulation. THEOLOGICAL Deuteronomy 6:6-7 commands deliberate, consistent instruction woven into daily life. Proverbs 22:6 uses the Hebrew word chanak — to dedicate, to inaugurate, to set on the right path from the beginning. This is not accidental parenting. Psalm 127:3 calls children a heritage from the Lord — a stewardship, not ownership. You were entrusted with a life that belongs to God, to be shaped for His purposes and released into His mission. Every decision you make as a parent is theological — an act of worship or negligence. Scripture leaves no neutral ground between the two..
MODULE 2 — Know Your Child — Temperament, Love Languages, and the Art of Reading Your Kid
MODULE 2: KNOW YOUR CHILD Temperament, Love Languages, and the Art of Reading Your Kid THE FOUNDATION One of the most common parenting mistakes is treating all children the same. You have individuals, not interchangeable children. Each arrives with distinct wiring, a unique emotional language, and a specific way of experiencing love, correction, and connection. The parent who studies their child is always more effective than the parent who applies the same approach to every situation. Before you can correct them wisely, you must first know them deeply. KEY CONCEPTS ▸ Temperament is not an excuse — it is a map — your child's built-in disposition is neurologically rooted. Understanding their wiring informs your strategy without lowering expectations. ▸ Every child has a primary love language — words, time, touch, acts of service, or gifts are not equal in every child. Discipline disconnected from their love language will not land. ▸ The child who is hardest to love needs love the most — defiant, distant, or explosive behavior is communication. Read the message before responding to the surface. ▸ Comparison is parenting's most destructive habit — comparing siblings or classmates wounds children. Parent according to their design, not someone else's standard. ▸ Premarital application — discuss how you were parented, your own temperaments, and how you each received love. Unexamined histories become unconscious defaults. BIOLOGICAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL Dr. Thomas Chess identified nine temperament traits — activity, adaptability, intensity, mood — that remain stable from infancy through adolescence. These traits are neurologically rooted. Research on attachment confirms a child's ability to regulate emotion and develop resilience is tied to feeling genuinely understood by their primary caregiver. A child whose emotional world is acknowledged develops stronger impulse control and healthier stress responses. THEOLOGICAL Psalm 139:13-14 declares God knit each child in the womb — fearfully and wonderfully made. Every temperament and sensitivity was known before you held them. Your child is not a project to fix but a person to discover. Proverbs 22:6 means training according to the child's own bent — their individual nature. Effective biblical parenting is personalized, attentive, and intentional.
MODULE 3 — Discipline That Actually Works — Authority, Boundaries, and Raising Children Who Obey from the Inside Out
MODULE 3: DISCIPLINE THAT ACTUALLY WORKS Authority, Boundaries, and Raising Children Who Obey from the Inside Out THE FOUNDATION Discipline is not punishment. It is training. The word itself comes from the same root as discipleship — and that tells you everything about what it is supposed to accomplish. The goal is never simply to stop a behavior. The goal is to shape a character. Parents who discipline only to control actions will fight the same battles for eighteen years. Parents who discipline to develop conscience will raise adults who make right choices when no one is watching. KEY CONCEPTS ▸ Authority must be established before discipline can work — a child who does not respect your authority will not respond to your correction. Relationship and consistency build the credibility that makes discipline effective. ▸ Every boundary needs a reason — children who understand why a rule exists internalize it. Children who only hear "because I said so" obey when you are present and rebel when you are not. ▸ Consequences must be consistent, calm, and connected — discipline delivered in anger teaches fear, not wisdom. The most effective correction is measured, predictable, and directly tied to the behavior. ▸ Praise the character, not just the behavior — when you say "you are honest" rather than "good job," you build identity. Children rise to what they believe about themselves. ▸ Premarital application — couples must align on discipline philosophy before children arrive. Disagreement here becomes the most damaging source of parenting conflict in marriage. BIOLOGICAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL Neuroscience confirms the prefrontal cortex — responsible for impulse control and sound decision-making — is not fully developed until age twenty-five. Children are neurologically incapable of the self-regulation adults expect. Dr. Ross Greene's research shows children do well when they can, not when they want to. Most behavioral problems are lagging skill problems, not defiance. That reframe alone changes how a parent responds. THEOLOGICAL Proverbs 13:24 connects discipline directly to love — the parent who withholds correction abandons their child to their worst impulses. Hebrews 12:11 frames discipline as painful now but producing righteousness and peace. God's parenting model is the standard: high love, high expectation, real consequences, consistent restoration. Never in rage. Never withheld from guilt. The parent who disciplines like God disciplines will produce children who know they are loved — and who behave like it.
MODULE 4- Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children — Teaching Feelings, Building Resilience, and Ending the Meltdown Cycle
MODULE 4: RAISING EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT CHILDREN Teaching Feelings, Building Resilience, and Ending the Meltdown Cycle THE FOUNDATION Emotional intelligence is a skill that must be taught. A child who cannot name what they feel will act it out. A child never taught to manage disappointment will be destroyed by it. This module equips parents to raise children who feel deeply, think clearly, and respond wisely under pressure. But first: you cannot teach what you do not model. Before you can raise an emotionally intelligent child, you must become an emotionally regulated parent. KEY CONCEPTS ▸ Name it to tame it — children cannot manage emotions they cannot identify. Teaching emotional vocabulary is neuroscience. A child who can say "I feel overwhelmed" is already halfway to self-control. ▸ Validation is not agreement — when you acknowledge a child's feelings without immediately correcting them, you build trust and lower their emotional temperature. You do not have to agree to honor. ▸ Resilience is built through allowed struggle — every time you rescue your child from discomfort you rob them of a developmental opportunity. Struggle, managed with parental support, builds strength. ▸ Your emotional regulation is their classroom — children learn how to handle anger, disappointment, and stress primarily by watching you handle yours. Your emotional life is your child's first curriculum. ▸ Premarital application — couples must examine their own emotional intelligence before parenting from it. How you handle conflict and stress in your marriage is exactly what your children will absorb. BIOLOGICAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL Dr. John Gottman's research identifies emotion coaching as one of the most powerful predictors of child outcomes. Children whose parents acknowledge and guide emotions develop stronger academic performance, healthier peer relationships, and significantly lower anxiety. Neurologically, the amygdala is calmed not by logic but by co-regulation with a calm, attuned caregiver. You cannot think a child out of an emotional state. You must first connect, then redirect. That sequence is neurological — a parent who skips connection goes straight to a brain not yet available to listen. THEOLOGICAL Ephesians 4:26 does not say do not feel anger — it says do not sin in it. God acknowledges emotion while redirecting response. Jesus wept at Lazarus's tomb — fully present to grief without being controlled by it. Proverbs 4:23 commands guarding the heart above all else because everything flows from it. Raising an emotionally intelligent child is not therapeutic luxury — it is biblical mandate. Emotional health and spiritual health are the same work.
MODULE 5 — The United Front —
How Couples Parent Together Without Destroying Their Marriage
MODULE 5: THE UNITED FRONT How Couples Parent Together Without Destroying Their Marriage THE FOUNDATION Parenting is one of the most beautiful and most brutal tests a marriage will face. Children expose every unresolved difference between two people — in values, history, temperament, and expectation. Couples who enter parenthood without unified philosophy do not just struggle as parents — they struggle as spouses. This module gives couples the tools to raise children together without losing each other. The central truth is simple: your children do not need perfect parents. They need aligned ones. Two imperfect parents who stand together always outperform two skilled parents who are divided. KEY CONCEPTS ▸ Your marriage is your child's first classroom — the way you treat each other teaches more about love, conflict, and respect than any conversation. A strong marriage is the greatest parenting tool available. ▸ Disagreement is normal; division is dangerous — couples will not always agree on parenting. The goal is not perfect agreement but committed process for resolving differences privately and presenting unity publicly. ▸ Never parent against your spouse — undermining your partner's decision in front of a child — even when they are wrong — destroys both marriage and the child's respect for authority. Disagree behind closed doors. Stand together in the room. ▸ The parenthood trap — many couples become so consumed by parenting they stop being spouses. Children need care, but they do not need parents who have forgotten they are also partners. Protecting your marriage protects your children. ▸ Premarital application — this module is entirely premarital preparation. Discuss discipline philosophy, spiritual training, extended family boundaries, schooling values, and financial priorities before the first pregnancy test. BIOLOGICAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL Dr. John Gottman's research confirms marital conflict and instability are among the strongest predictors of poor child outcomes — including anxiety, behavioral problems, and academic underperformance. Children's nervous systems are exquisitely sensitive to parental tension. Conversely, children raised with strong, warm, stable parental partnership show higher resilience and significantly better relationship outcomes. A healthy marriage is a public health intervention for children. THEOLOGICAL Genesis 2:24 establishes marriage covenant as the primary relationship, even in a home full of children. Malachi 2:15 ties covenant marriage directly to raising godly offspring — God designed the intact, unified marriage as optimal for producing children who know Him. Ephesians 6:4 assumes a household in order, a marriage intact, two parents moving in the same covenantal direction.
MODULE 6 — Screens, Culture, and the Battle for Your Child's Mind — Raising Kids with Values in a World That Has None
MODULE 6: SCREENS, CULTURE & THE BATTLE FOR YOUR CHILD'S MIND Raising Kids with Values in a World That Has None THE FOUNDATION The most dangerous parenting mistake is passive media consumption without intentional values formation. Your child's mind is a battlefield — and if you are not deliberately shaping what goes into it, the culture will do it for you without your permission and values. Screens are not the enemy. Passivity is. You are not competing with a distraction — you are competing with a multi-billion-dollar industry designed to capture and hold your child's attention indefinitely and addictively. KEY CONCEPTS ▸ The algorithm is parenting your child — every unmonitored screen is an open door to content and values that directly compete with everything you are building at home. Passive screen time is not neutral — it is formation without your input. ▸ Rules without relationship produce rebellion — you cannot ban your way to a values-driven child. Restriction without connection drives behavior underground. Build the relationship first; the boundaries will hold. ▸ Media literacy is essential — teach your child to think critically about what they watch and who they follow. A child who can analyze culture is far more protected than one who is simply sheltered from it. ▸ Your home must offer something better — children run to screens when home is boring, tense, or disconnected. The most effective screen management is a home so rich in presence and connection that screens lose their competition. ▸ Premarital application — couples must establish shared philosophy on technology, social media, and cultural engagement before children arrive. These conversations are far easier before a twelve-year-old demands a smartphone. BIOLOGICAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL Dr. Jean Twenge's research shows adolescent mental health crises after 2012 correlate directly with smartphone adoption. Depression, anxiety, and suicide rates shifted at the same inflection point. The dopamine reward system in developing brains is hijacked by platforms engineered to maximize engagement and minimize self-regulation. Excessive screen time links directly to anxiety, depression, attention disorders, and disrupted sleep. THEOLOGICAL Romans 12:2 commands transformation by the renewing of the mind and warns against conformity to this world's pattern. This is not passive — it requires active, intentional mental formation. Philippians 4:8 filters content: whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Proverbs 4:23 — guard your heart above all else — is the original media literacy command. A child whose heart is guarded and mind trained to discern will navigate culture without being consumed by it.
MODULE 7 Legacy Parenting — Raising Children Who Leave Home Ready — Spiritually, Emotionally, and Practically
MODULE 7 —LEGACY PARENTING Raising Children Who Leave Home Ready — Spiritually, Emotionally, and Practically THE FOUNDATION The goal of parenting is not to keep your children — it is to release them. Every decision, every boundary, every conversation prepares them for life without you in the room. Legacy parenting asks: what kind of adult am I building? Not what child do I have now — but what human being will walk out of my home in ten, fifteen, twenty years. Every habit, every value, every skill is either building something that outlasts you or spending down something that should have outlasted you. KEY CONCEPTS ▸ The goal is launch, not control — every year your child should need you less for survival and trust you more for wisdom. Independence is not rebellion — it is evidence parenting is working. ▸ Faith must be transferred, not assumed — a child raised in church is not automatically a child with faith. Spiritual legacy requires intentional conversation and modeled devotion. ▸ Practical competence is part of legacy — your child should leave home knowing how to cook, manage money, navigate conflict, and maintain a home. Practical skills are infrastructure for adult success. ▸ The relationship must transform — parent-child dynamics must shift from authority to friendship. Parents who cannot make this transition lose their child's influence at the moment it is needed most. ▸ Premarital application — the legacy you received is what you will unconsciously pass on. Couples must deliberately decide which generational patterns to continue and which to break. BIOLOGICAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL Dr. Erik Erikson identified adolescent identity formation as the process by which young people answer: who am I, and what do I stand for? Young people who maintain close, warm relationships with parents during the transition to independence show significantly higher life satisfaction, relational stability, and vocational clarity. The relationship transforms — it does not end. THEOLOGICAL Psalm 127:4 compares children to arrows — arrows are not held; they are aimed and released. Proverbs 22:6 — train a child in the way he should go — is a legacy promise attached to a legacy process. Deuteronomy 6:2 extends vision across generations — so that you, your children, and your children's children may fear the Lord. Every intentional decision shapes a legacy that compounds across generations long after you are gone..
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E-Book:
Proper Parenting Matters
Most parents love their children deeply — but were never taught how to parent them well. This course changes that. Seven modules. Biblical truth. Practical strategy. Real transformation. Whether you are raising toddlers or teenagers, this is the framework your family has been waiting for. See the E_book.
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Additional Resources
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CONGRATULATIONS. Completing this course means you chose to parent with intention rather than instinct alone. You invested in understanding your child, sharpening your approach, and building the kind of home that shapes character for generations. That is a legacy worth leaving.
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